My Favorite Montague
My show of choice while waiting for the 2020 Election Results is “Criminal Minds” because I, like many true crime fanatics, like to gaze deeply into the heart of evil and specifically, why people are drawn towards evil acts. It’s a fun pastime, but ironically not one I enjoy doing in my daily life. For example, I have absolutely no desire to know why Trump behaves the way he does. I just want him gone. So why then is the strongest, kindest man I’ve ever known a Trump supporter?
It doesn’t make sense.
If someone important to your life is a Trump supporter and you are not, these past few days are probably bringing up some confusing and frustrating emotions. The normal coping mechanisms of “not talking about politics” or watching news in separate rooms aren’t exactly possible as the world waits in anticipation for the final election results. But can a healthy relationship really be doomed from a few days? Hell no. Not even these pivotal days. Without being too preachy, I’ve compiled a few things I’ve noticed from being in a “split household.” I’d love to hear yours as well.
1. How are you treated daily?
I know it’s hard to believe that anyone who is a fan of Trump could have compassion, but beliefs are sometimes made to be broken. And even if you wish you could break your Trump-lover’s beliefs, it’s therapeutic to focus on how you feel day-to-day within your relationship. Are you supported, cherished and loved in substantial and significant ways? I want to know that my main squeeze is someone on which I can depend. Does support for Trump put doubt in my mind as to someone’s character? Totally. And I can say with certainty that I would never start a new relationship with someone who supports Trump. But if the years before his appearance on the scene show a consistent level of commitment and care, that’s not something to throw away without a fight.
2. Do beliefs become actions?
People can say whatever they want, but it’s pretty meaningless without actions to back it up. Though I’ll be the first to say that support of Trump shows at best negligence towards the lives of Black and Brown individuals and at worst outwardly violent racism, I have noticed a clear discrepancy between the way the Trump supporters in my life behave towards me and my family and the way Trump speaks of people like me and my family. Would it be ideal to have someone who both protects me and my family against all odds AND correspondingly hates Trump? Yes. But at the end of the day, if my life is on the line as a POC (which I’m sure it will be given another Trump presidency), I’d still want the person closest to me to be both equipped and motivated to defend my personal safety and that of the ones I care about regardless of our race, a task that I wouldn’t put pass someone who against all odds, won over my Grandmother.
3. Favorite or Least of all Evils?
Of course, it’s my belief that Trump, given the state of our country and the world, is the greatest of all evils. However, my ideal candidate would not belong to either the Republican or Democratic Party with the capacity to be pragmatic and flexible without restriction or prior expectations. I can say with certainty that my live-in Trump supporter feels the same. Do I wish that Biden was the compromise he chose to make? Absolutely. But approaching any political conversation with the knowledge that our ideal hypothetical candidates may be in fact similar does provide for productive discourse and the motivation to work together to bring such a unicorn into office. Trump capitalized on the weakness of a bi-partisan system to inflict terror on the United States and by extension, the world. But common dreams are the foundation of a beautiful relationship and if you and your loved one’s dreams coincide looking towards an improved future, all hope may not be lost.
I love commentary.
Especially when you disagree! Talking about the election and/or relationships can be sensitive and if you are inspired or offended by something I said, please feel free to speak out! I’m always only a click away.