Say You Care, Say It Now
When my grandmother and grandfather moved to rural Texas from India, they were surrounded by people who had no concept of race or humanity - only skin color on a spectrum of light to dark. Throughout the period of my mom’s childhood, she was called the “n” word many times at school and her family had crosses burned in their yard on many occasion.
When I share this story, I am not saying that I have ANY understanding personally of what the Black community is going through right now or ever growing up. I do not at all. I can say however, that members of my family have witnessed the hatred that still shamefully exists in our society up close. And though it’s disheartening that nothing seems to have changed for the better, it has been encouraging to see more people fighting back against the anti-blackness plaguing our world. And as an ally unconditionally, I am available to any discussions and opportunities of involvement in which my Black colleagues would like to engage.
Below I’ve listed three pieces of advice that I find to be essential for communicating during this time:
Voice your support.
If you choose to stay silent with your Black friends, you may think that you’re being courteous by showing support without making any assumptions about their feelings. But we are past that. Even if you think that your Black friends and colleagues know that you support them, do not take that for granted. Voice your support to the people that matter to you individually and do it now.
Times have changed.
The way that you interacted with your Black friends’ struggles in the past may have worked. But times are different now. The fact that our world’s violence and discrimination towards Black individuals is being brought to the forefront of the media is affecting our Black peers and colleagues in so many different ways. Do you have to understand why or how off the bat to reach out? No you do not. Yours is to listen and be available.
It is SO not about you.
If you’re still nervous about speaking up and directly telling your black friends that you care and are here to talk even if you do not personally understand the experiences and feelings they have, keep in mind that it is NOT about you. Maybe you think you will say the wrong thing when you send these messages. And maybe you worry that you’ll look juvenile in your friends’ eyes or offend them. Well - that is their business to tell you and guide you to a better way of communicating. I promise it is WAY worse to not communicate at all.
There’s no call to action for this post except for you to approach the people in your life and say you care.