I'm in it for the Long Haul

In the light of this global pandemic, you don’t have to be unemployed to receive unemployment benefits. I know because I received my first deposit today. For the next 39 weeks, I, along with many self-employed professionals across the US, will be receiving a check from my state paired with a $600 stimulus. Why $600? This New York Times article provides a thorough explanation paired with visualizations. Until a fellow business owner told me he’d been approved and received back pay, I hadn’t looked into the details. But it’s true. If you are a small business owner doubting if you’re eligible, go to the unemployment web page for your state and file a claim. It’s likely you are.

Funny enough, I wasn’t going to write about this topic because 1) I experience social stigma towards unemployment and 2) I am ashamed over partaking in such stigma, whether it’s by choice or not. The prevalence of such stigma across cultures exist, and are most likely a derivative of discrimination within the job market. A robust article published in the Journal for Labour Market Research in July 2019 features a study conducted in Germany in 2018. The study concluded that only a small 14 percent of German firms are willing to hire an employee regardless of unemployment duration. Stigma, as powerful as it is, is irrational and holds us back from potential gains. Think about it: I was about to forgo receiving an influx of steady money into my bank account for absolutely no good reason, but one that can potentially be explained.

According to Canadian sociologist Erving Goffman, “Unemployment can be regarded as an example of stigma of character, where the stigmatized are considered individuals with a “weak will, domineering or unnatural passions, treacherous and rigid beliefs, and dishonesty.” Even if we don’t fall in line with these traits ourselves, participating in a program that traditionally absorbs them evokes in us a very tangible fear that we do and that others will judge us for it.

But here’s the thing:

Money and Shame Don’t Go Together

And wearing them together ensures you’re out of style. The 19th episode of #DataFemme, “Intuition and the Spirit of Money”, featured acclaimed financial coach Christine Teh. During the interview, Christine makes a comparison between nurturing personal relationships with other people and one’s relationship with money. That comparison struck me more deeply than I expected, and I realized that for sure in my case, she is right. I struggle the most with forgiveness in my personal relationships and by no coincidence, its also the quality I respect most in others. It’s my reluctance to forgive and accept imperfection that keeps me from achieving a state of peace financially. And ironically, it is in light of the pandemic that I have gotten closer to a healthy place. Why? Because most of the times I spent outside of my means involved global travel and splurging on people I love, things that may be harder to do in our impending new reality.

How many times do we fail to survey our bank accounts, sift through our pile of bills and open ourselves up to money-making opportunities because of a false sense of security in our pride? I’ve felt like a hostage to my own finances for a long time. It’s only after applying for unemployment and starting to open myself up to deeper conversations about finances that I’ve started to feel productive, knowing that the freedom I thought was impossible may not be that far off.

It’s Okay to Fight Sometimes

I’m subject to an all or nothing mentality in general and it’s certainly come out in my relationship with money. After years of making automatic payments with no concern, shifting to a paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle during business school did not come easy. I started to view my financial status as a shameful liability instead of a trade-off. Investing in the next tier of education no doubt put a dent in the financial prowess I had built in the years I spent working beforehand. I didn’t realize that my money had become such a defining piece of my identity until it was gone.

But what my brief interview with Christine taught me is that I am way too quick to assume that things are gone. One fight in a relationship immediately raises in me the instinct to run away forever. And even though I’ve come to the understanding that personal relationships can and do survive the smaller battles, I hadn’t yet applied that recognition to money. It is possible to transfer wealth in cash money to other forms of wealth, like a house or an MBA education. And moreover, it is possible to regain wealth that we’ve so far lost in the next stage of life by continuing to stay motivated and engaged, but detached from the idea that financial prowess fits a standard, upward, linear model.

Results Aren’t Everything

It’s easy to wrap up our identities in our current spending power. But our attitudes towards money are so much more important. Even the simple choice of directing a deposit towards a debt as opposed to pizza delivery (this time) shows an investment in the future that in time can lead to financial security. I’m slow to be motivated in hazy situations and because of that I choose to pay off my smallest debts first, regardless of interest rates. Is it the most practical approach? Those who choose to pay off the debts with the highest interest rates would say no. But it is the approach that will most likely engineer my success. I thrive on winning in every situation I happen upon. The little victories make me inspired to face the scarier trials, even if complete freedom is a ways off.

How can we motivate ourselves to prioritize our finances in situations where full recovery is hard to grasp? In the wise words of Angel in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “We don’t fight to win. We fight because there’s something worth fighting for.” And financial stability? That’s worth fighting for.